Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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