Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
is wine microwaveable?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
