Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
