How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
