yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Im just a social blackout drinker.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
