I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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