I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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