I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize