im about as happy as oj after his trial
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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