And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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