You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
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Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
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I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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