The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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