So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
