I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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