so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
