Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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