I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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