Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
