I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
