I wish i was in the wii world.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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