i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
where are my eyebrows?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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