They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize