Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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