In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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