why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
