I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
And then my night got REAL pukey
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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