escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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