please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
