you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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