i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize