but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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