i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize