Quick, to the slutcave!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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