There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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