I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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