also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
