thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I am naked and annoyed.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
