Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
They are going to name an STD after you.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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