You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
