Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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