Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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