There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
