yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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