If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pants incapable of making pants work
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You were trust falling into bushes
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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