I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
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