it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
