Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
