i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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