i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
