there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize