NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
