i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We named our party play list daddy issues
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
