she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
