I cannot find my penis.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
