I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
