I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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