So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
