We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
