Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
