I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
