I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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