I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
