It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
