apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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