thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
