so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
